The Difference Between Failing and Being a Failure

“I feel like such a failure!”  I have heard these words uttered far too often from people who are giving their all to something.  Salespeople, managers, parents, spouses, and pretty much anyone who has ever tried anything has failed at one time or another.  However, being a failure is completely different than failing.  Failing is a natural step on the journey to success.  Being a failure is a mindset, and an acceptance or belief that your efforts will only end in failure.  People do not dispute the value of learning from mistakes, yet few professionals are good at it.  Here are 5 ways you can learn after failing and overcome a perpetual failure mindset:

Identify the reason you failed

Consistently take time to reflect on your actions and results.  Examine the reasons you fail, and ask others for their input.  For example, if you consistently get a “no” from your prospects, ask one of them what you could do better to earn their business.  They might surprise you with candid, helpful feedback that will help you grow.  Even as you achieve success, ask your customers what you can do better.  When searching for reasons you failed, examine your sales plan, what you did before your meeting, your execution, and your follow up.  Use this knowledge to anticipate future challenges and adjust your approach.

Try something new

Most people who start out in sales begin with repeated failures and few successes.  They take a while to find their stride, and begin to enjoy some success.  Fast forward a few years, and most people reach the point of diminishing returns.  No matter how much they increase their effort, they cannot surpass their production levels from previous years.  Some professionals feel stuck in a rut, and begin to unknowingly foster a failure mindset.

Take a look at what activities you do that lead to success, and find ways to increase those activities.  Identify the time wasters in your schedule, and delegate them to someone else or eliminate them altogether.   If your current strategy is not getting the desired results, learn new ways to refine your approach.  For example, attend seminars or workshops to grow your skills.  Learn more about your prospects, or try to sell to a new market segment.  Build a strategic network and cultivate meaningful relationships inside and outside of your organization.  Become a student of successful people, and pay close attention to their habits.


Build resilience

Becoming a failure happens when you allow discouragement to settle in your thoughts and believe that you will never succeed.  Come to the realization that you will fail on your way to success.  Let me rephrase that:  realize that you will fail repeatedly on the way to success.  Develop thick skin, and understand that every “no” presents an opportunity to grow and brings you one step closer to a “yes.”

“I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career.  I’ve lost almost 300 games.  26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.  I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life.  And that is why I succeed.” – Michael Jordan

Embrace risk

Do not become so afraid of failure that you avoid risks altogether.  Avoiding risk ultimately leads to a life of failure anyway!  No great success has been achieved without some level of risk.  Understand that as you embrace risk, you must also embrace failure.  Failing is only a natural part of growth.

Focus on what you can control instead of placing blame

Unfortunately, failing and blame go hand in hand for most people.  As soon as an organization or project fails, people want to know where to assign the blame.  Identifying the cause of a problem to learn from it is different than placing blame.  Finding a scapegoat does not help anyone learn from mistakes, and creates a culture of blame since everyone becomes afraid to fail.  Admitting your mistakes is a crucial part of building a strong team.  When you fail, search for things you can control and take responsibility for them.  Your teammates will feel more comfortable taking responsibility for their mistakes, and you can all grow together.

Failing is a step on the path to success; failure is a crippling mindset. Click To Tweet

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Mastering the Financial Element of Sales

There are four elements to each sale:  financial, strategy, relationship, and execution.  Discussing the financial aspect of a sale can make people nervous, but you should try to get comfortable with it to increase your effectiveness as a salesperson.

Use honesty to build your brand

Whenever there are large amounts of revenue involved in a project, most people become anxious.  Their anxiety usually stems from a lack confidence in the amount of value they bring to the project.  In my industry, transparency of revenue became a hot topic with the investigation of contingent commissions by former New York attorney general Eliot Spitzer and changes with the Affordable Care Act.  Brokers struggled to justify their income in the new transparent environment.  The new standards created a separation in philosophy.  Some took the high road and disclosed 100% of their commission, while others found creative ways to mask the revenue they brought in. Continue reading

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Closing a Sale or Pushing Too Hard?

Salespeople get a bad reputation sometimes, and are unfairly stereotyped as pushy, greedy, and arrogant.  These misconceptions come from a few bad apples who corner their prospects and use forceful, fear-based techniques to make a quick buck, regardless of what is right for their client.  None of us want to give off that vibe, but the trouble is that sometimes you need to push to close the sale, and other times you should walk away.  How hard should you push to win a piece of business?  When  is it right to push hard with the hope of closing a sale, and when is it right to sit back and lose with grace? Continue reading

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Emotional Intelligence: the Secret to Becoming Irresistible

Have you ever met an irresistible person?  Some people seem to make friends effortlessly, influence others’ behavior, and maintain control of situations.  They radiate with confidence and their energy is contagious.  These individuals possess emotional intelligence, the ability to identify and manage their own emotions, while adapting their behavior to influence others.  Whether your goal is to become a brilliant leader, or to become an exceptional salesperson, emotional intelligence is the key to unlocking success in your relationships.  Let’s take a look at emotional intelligence and how to cultivate it. Continue reading

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Relationship Sales: 6 Tips for Meaningful Connections

There are four elements to every sale:  financial, strategy, relationship, and execution.  Most professionals excel in one of the four elements, and some are proficient in two.  Very few possess the ability to incorporate all four elements of the sale on a consistent basis.  To reach your full potential as a salesperson, you should attempt to incorporate each of these four elements into each sale.  Let’s talk about relationship sales.

The cornerstone to lifelong success is building strong relationships.  Relationship sales come from strong relationships and partners who want to see you win.  It is less about selling, and more about helping people solve problems.  Relationship sales happen when a salesperson relies on their rapport with the customer instead of traditional sales tactics.  In order to succeed, you must have a large network full of people who trust and like you.  The result of effective relationship selling is that your contacts will bring you opportunities instead of you chasing them down.  This strategy only works if you genuinely want the best for other people and believe in what you are selling.  Here are 6 ways that you can build relationship sales: Continue reading

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